~Jeannel~

rattlings

1:47 AM

We went out just now in my brother's car. 2nd hand Nissan Sunny. Not too bad actually. First he drove to his school, then my school, then we went to buy some food and came home. My dad was sitting next to him the whole time and me and my mom sat in the back. I fell asleep half way. haha.

My mom said it was so weird seeing him sitting there driving. Then I told her about how I remembered when we were kids (he was maybe 3~4 years old), my dad would put my bro on his lap(his tummy wasn't that big before) and let my brother touch the wheel, and they'd drive around the empty carpark in the middle of the night. Back then, multi story carparks were scarce, yes, it was a flat road. Its just so cute, isn't it? No he is no longer sitting on my dad's lap (which is actually impossible right now, for more reasons than one), but he is driving the car all by himself. Across highways, on top hills, through sharp bends... Time just flies doesn't it?

I'll admit, I was pretty nervous when I first stepped into the car, but after a while the worry just smoothed out by itself. My brother is not a bad driver, really.
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Anyway, I was looking through blogs and noticed that I probably have one of the longest running ACTIVE blogs on the internets. Started in February 2005. In a couple more posts, I would have hit 500 posts. Wow. Okay maybe not that much an achievement, after all, I had nearly 5 years, but hey, it does say something right?

Of course my blog has undergone many skin changes as well as name changes. But some things which remain constant is the tagboard, the content, and the writer. Oh and of course, the blog itself.

500 is still alot of posts, and this skin has been around for quite a while. So I was thinking, maybe its time for a change? This time, I think I can make it look nicer, (although I still think this skin is really nice) I mean, now I know how to use gimp, and gimp brushes, so I don't have to solely rely on CSS anymore.

So.. Should I?

Thursday, November 26, 2009
~Jeannel~

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10:25 PM

I know this is already on my facebook, but it really is relavent. While having "lunch" with Seow, Edric, Meng Meng and Theo today, i had an epiphany. (they were talking about how Edric was considering floorball/rugby to be in a team sport, basically saying that shooting is an individual sport and not a team sport, however, I find that it is completely not true.

The common misconception of "shooting is not a team sport" is completely false, in reality, shooting requires a ton of team work, not only to bring up the over all team score, but to give each other tips, encourage one another, care for one another, wait for one another to finish training before going home, even if we have to wait for hours, and hang out after that, not only for lunch, but to really hang out These simple things really brings up one's morale, and we won't feel so drained after training because we know we would be having fun.
Not to even mention going to the range together and having fun even before training.

I realise now why my shooting standard has gone down so much after I left IJ, I have no more team behind me, something to spur me on, give me the drive to want to give my all for the team.

And of course, currently, the word "team" is non-existant in ACJC Shooting. I am really not kidding. For one, most of the people actually do not turn up for training *coughelessercaptaincoughmaycough*. Secondly, we don't even do very much to show any bonding, well I tried, at the start of the year, but of course, they picked someone else instead of me to be captain despite all the effort I put in, yes I know I sound like a sore loser, but I have good reason to be. I put in my all for the team before they picked the leaders, and they chose someone who was a frequent skipper of trainings who has no previous experience in leadership as the captain, instead of me. Ok scratch that, it didn't even have to be me, it could have been someone else whom I think would be a much better captain, but no, apparently they decided to choose by academic results (yes, the person they picked is in the top science class).

Coming back to my point, the only "bonding" we ever did was during "Physical Training" and camp. Of course, that was a total failure, at least for the girl's rifle team. only half the team came for the camp. So, how were we supposed to do very much bonding then? Oh, physical training was also fail, explanation is almost the same as camp. And you know what, I really tried to bond with them, but they were SO unresponsive.

Yes, so they are frequent "pon-ers" of training as well. And even if they come, it is the same routine. Reach, Shoot, Leave. "Lunch" is almost a myth, especially for the girls team, scratch that, ONLY for the girls team. And yes, in the end, I end up the only girl eating with the guys, pretty sad isn't it? And thats just it! We eat lunch, then go straight home. No diverting to some arcade or a movie or anything, just, home.

Could a CCA really be any LESS bonded? I mean come on, the Creative Writing Circle is a much smaller CCA, with meetings very few and far between, and yet we're having a barbeque on Monday! I don't even need to say the fact that the IJ shooters have at very least one barbeque or meet up each year, including past shooters. Although we are a smaller group, at least our group consists of pistolers as well. Yes, we know each other for over three years now, but the outings started even before the first half year was up. So take that.

Which comes to my next point. Not only do we not interact within a weapon group, we don't interact between groups as well! There is very little mix between the pistolers and the riflers. I don't even want to talk about this point.

I mean seriously, if you don't feel any connection to the team, how would you expect yourself to be able to give anything? I mean, you wouldn't care about letting them down, they don't mean very much to you after all, so what is the point?

My point is, the reason I haven't been doing well these months is because I can safely say I hate my team. Okay maybe not Shanti, and Jane(but she isn't even training anymore), but the rest of them. Okay one of them I used to find quite nice, but after she mixed with the other one she just became horrible. And here is my next point. Because I hate them, I would not give my best for them. I don't care to help them get a medal, I don't need it (come on, i've been winning medals every single year since I started shooting, and its multiple medals a year.) I don't want to bring them glory, so why should I?

So my post is exactly what I said it would be, a rant about how shooting really is a team sport, and not an individual one. Oh you poor misguided souls. I think I will put a much needed full stop to this wall of text.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009
~Jeannel~

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9:20 PM

bored. somebody save me

Tuesday, November 24, 2009
~Jeannel~

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12:00 AM

A month since we got together..

I love you Shawny <3

Thursday, November 12, 2009
~Jeannel~

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11:28 PM

seriously, lesser c_____n, even lesser tic.

ASSUME that i have a "special training schedule" because i have a different coach. HELLO?? i'll still be at htns, wtf is with not telling me the school's training schedule?? and especially, DONT MAKE ASSUMPTIONS!! FUCKING ASK ME.

you really made an ASS-of U- but not ME.

knn. i already don't feel like part of the team and come do this kind of thing to me.

seriously, if any of you freaking dare to give me a shift for open house, i will scream in your face. you don't treat me as part of the team, so i won't do it. i have better things to do. like help out the booth of a CCA which actually treats me like a part of them.

Sunday, November 08, 2009
~Jeannel~

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11:11 AM

Dolls and Marionettes (title to be revised)

~Prelude~

All she ever wanted was to be a model, beautiful, adored, to see herself in the situation, it was her dream. But it was something he could not give to her, not even in her death bed.

As he looked at her once beautiful face, now full of scars, tears started to roll down his cheeks. It was an attack, one that mutilated her face and body. He had wanted to spend his life with her, but now, even that is not possible. He had to leave now, the undertaker had to take her body back to his studio to prepare her for the funeral.

As he walked out of the door he just knew he couldn't leave without a part of her. He went back into the room and asked the undertaker if he could have a lock of her hair. The burly man took a pair of scissors out of his pocket and snipped off a thick lock of her hair and passed it to the man.

"Treasure your memories", the undertaker told him as he left.

The funeral was held two days later. The man had a package in his hands, which he brought up to the casket where she lay, so still, so dead. Despite the lacerations on her face, she was beautiful to him, this girl whom he loved so much. He opened the package, inside was a beautiful doll made of resin, slightly flexible, incredibly beautiful.

He held the doll and talked to the corpse, "I made her for you, my love, in your perfect image. It was my project for the past year, I was to give it to you on your birthday... But now i will never have the chance. The lock of your hair which I took from the undertaker, I used it to make the hair of this doll. Now I will always have a part of you with me, forever.". He was crying as he said this, tears which fell on the face of his love.

As he walked out of the building, he held the doll firmly in his hands, unknowing that on the face of the doll, tears also rolled down in flawless, plastic face.

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Just felt like writing this... yup... well, possible a new story? a side project from AOEW. give me your comments :)

Saturday, November 07, 2009
~Jeannel~

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10:41 PM

the night sky cries, its wails deep within its eyes; the stars.
but when the heavens are not clouded by worry and sorrow,
only the stars remain.
i'd wonder and ask the stars
"when would i be able to be spectator to such beauty and perfection all day?"
they'd reply that their only perfect in my eyes..
Then their lights point me further east, and eastward my heart went
i would have flown blindly into the trecherous seas alone
if those stars didnt fnid me
again i thought i would be talking to myself as i saw those diamonds
how would i have known that as the blue moon shone on me,
those precious gems were talking back to me.
and thats when my heart swore it skipped a beat.
one day i'd definitely ask you
"would you marry me?"

Friday, November 06, 2009
~Jeannel~

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11:04 PM

it doesnt get any better than this.

PROMOTED PROMOTED PROMOTED PROMOTED PROMOTED PROMOTED! :D

YESSSSS me and shawny have been promoted (as well as almost of our other friends haha)

i can't tell you how worried i was the past couple months.

but its finally come to the end of the year (nearly)

AND WE'RE PROMOTED! YEAH! not advanced. PROMOTED! ^.^

can finally play games without a guilty conscience. haha.

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created a new neopets acc with shawn. xD haha. AmoureuxdeChaton.

yay!

Tuesday, November 03, 2009
~Jeannel~

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10:25 PM

went out with shawny today! <3>took neoprints for the first time in like 2 years (or more) haha.

Also, since im not 18, i can't buy this. so... DADDY!!! BUY THIS FOR ME FOR CHRISTMAS CAN? ONLY $10!!!

watched Coraline today.. not a bad show actually, but a bit creepy. lol. but ok la. not really scary. just creepy as hell.

Monday, November 02, 2009
~Jeannel~

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11:18 PM

~~~~~~WARNING!!!!~~~~~~~

The following post contains explicit content as well as extremely strong language, if you are offended by this please do not scroll down, and I would also suggest you clicking the big button with the X at the top right hand corner of your screen. Thank you very much and have a nice day.

Also, I would like to remind everyone that this is my blog and I am allowed to post whatever I want on it. Thank you for your cooperation.

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I am quite pissed off at some people.

Firstly, i used to quite like PRINCESS, but then since she started hanging out with the psycho (M) and the whore (E), she has gotten more and more F-ked up. seriously i just see her attitude at some parts of the day, and the vids on fb. omg =.=

Secondly, PEOPLE WHO CAME LATE FOR THE PARTY. LIKE SUPER LATE.
especially the tramp (E). omg la. first say come at 11am. then after that say that you go collect passport (yah fucking right). a whole bloody month to collect the passport and you choose on this day which you KNOW is SO important to a supposedly "very good friend" of yours. wtf. then after that meet boyfriend liao dunno disappear to where, end up coming at like 6.pm. i don't think you went to collect your passport at all. you probably went to some hotel (*coughHotel81cough*) to go screw that "boy"friend of yours.
Seriously, damn responsible and capable "captain"

Next, OMG. WTF IS UP WITH THOSE VIDEOS?! DOING THOSE KIND OF THING WITH ALL YOUR RELATIVES AROUND??? I MEAN JUST LETTING YOUR "FRIENDS" DO IT?! WTF? ARE YOU ASKING FOR TROUBLE MY FRIEND?
And to the psycho and the whore, WTF IS UP WITH YOU PEOPLE? YOU ARE JUST BEGGING TO GET THE POOR DELUDED GIRL INTO TROUBLE!

oh right, it doesn't affect you, they aren't your parents after all. so why should you care right?

get some TACT idiots. I think its now for sale next to the "MORALS" isle at "values-r-us"

Lastly. Princess. HOW COULD YOU BE SO FUCKING SOFT? ARE YOU THAT HARD-UP FOR FRIENDS?
You're so called "friends" totally betrayed you today la, with their fucking bad attitude, thinking they own the place. THEY FREAKING WALK ALL OVER YOU! When they not here you angry angry say they pissed you off, say tell them they don't need come liao. Then when they come already you "forgive" them. Letting them off so lightly. you can call me vengeful but seriously, wtf. these people aren't worth to be called friends la.

Also, the last thing i wanted to say, i noticed that today there were only people from your CCA, and friends of those people who showed up. im kind of wondering what happened to all your other friends?

For some reason, im really not surprised. after all, S is also getting more and more irritable of you, it wasn't like that before, only when you started hanging out with the psycho and the tramp.

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*hyperventilates*

Saturday, October 31, 2009
~Jeannel~

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